Toxic Mix = Bully Boss

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Certain chemicals are inert and harmless standing alone but, when combined, they combust into toxic fumes, or worse. This, apparently, is what frequently happens when a boss becomes a bully. A series of studies reported last year in the academic journal, Psychological Science, found that bosses who abuse employees tend to be the result of two factors: Being in a position of power over others Feelings of incompetence and self-doubts of their ability It takes both of these to produce a true bully in the manager's chair. This goes deep, psychologically. The abusive boss's ego may be threatened, not necessarily from more competent employees but often from deep-seated feelings of … [Read more...]

Resistance is Not a Bad Thing (No, really!)

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The American essayist Hamilton Mabie once said about resistance: "Don't be afraid of opposition.  Remember, a kite rises against–not with–the wind." So often in my management training sessions, participants are stymied by people who resist, whether it is an employee resisting a performance directive, a boss rejecting a suggestion, or a peer not willing to cooperate on a work issue. The best salespeople are energized, not demoralized or defeated, by objections from their prospects. They treat such resistance as an opportunity to learn more about the prospect's perspective, assumptions and needs. I have a background in Gestalt psychology. One of our associates, Rick Maurer, is … [Read more...]

You Own Half of the Relationship

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A June 4, 2009 post on John Baldoni's Leadership at Work blog presented an intriguing image: your "ownership" of the relationship you have with your boss: To me it comes down to a simple proposition: exert your ownership. If your boss is not giving you feedback, ask for it. If your teammates are driving you crazy, talk to them. If you are struggling with an impossible workload, find ways to lighten it. Proceeding as you are is inefficient; failing to address the problem may be even worse. Bottom line, you have a responsibility to do the job for which you are paid. Do it. Actually, you and your manager are co-owners of the relationship. And by "relationship" I mean how the two of you … [Read more...]