I know you have had an experience similar to this.
During a recent planning meeting of a volunteer group the conversation was flowing, people were at ease, light hearted opening pleasantries had been shared and we were tackling the first agenda item in a positive, upbeat spirit. Ten minutes into the discussion a key member showed up. He was uncharacteristically subdued and did not respond to our welcomes in his usually smiling way.
The mood in the team shifted palpably_in a heartbeat. I know I felt a heaviness in my stomach area. We continued on, with his involvement, but it never felt the same. We became more businesslike, humor faded from the conversation, and I found myself making as little eye contact as possible with our late comer.
Now, we never did ask what was on his mind. Knowing him, there was a reasonable explanation for the low mood he was exuding that day. For this piece, however, that is not important.
What this incident did demonstrate is the power of what neuroscientists are calling mirror neurons. These are neurons that fire both when we (1) feel and express an emotion and (2) when we sense a similar emotional state in another person. PBS’ NOVA ScienceNOW has a great little video on mirror neurons.
In situation #1, if I am both feeling angry and expressing it in my face, body posture, gestures, voice tone, etc., certain neurons relating to my emotional state will be firing. That’s pretty straight forward. But, in situation #2, if I sense anger in you–by my observing your non-verbal cues–those same anger-related neurons that fired independently in me in situation #1 will fire once again in my brain. They are, in effect, “mirroring” your emotional state in my brain and I will most likely experience the very emotion you are feeling.
But what does the discovery of mirror neurons have to do with being a “best boss?”
Here are three points for you to consider:
- As a manager, the impact of having your current mood permeate the minds of your employees is much greater simply because you are the boss! If one employee down at the end of the table is in a funk, the group can, if it chooses, get on quite well anyway. If it’s the boss who is in the funk, however, it’s really hard for staff to ignore it and keep up and positive despite it.
- If you find yourself in a negative mood, consciously intervene to either change your mood or mask it when interacting with others. Best bosses cannot afford the luxury of letting a foul mood go unchecked at work.
- The flip of this: realize that your positive, upbeat, confident state-of-mind will contaminate (a good thing here) the moods of your staff, peers and customers. Cultivate these elements in yourself and you will energize your people to perform at remarkably higher levels and do so consistently.
Part of being a good leader is being a good actor.
© 2009 – 2011, Ian Cook. All rights reserved.
About Ian Cook
Ian is an experienced presenter, group facilitator and executive coach. Through his keynote presentations, highly interactive workshops, and custom-designed team-building practice, he helps his clients leverage their investment in their managers and teams. 
