I was doing some small group coaching sessions recently with members of one of my clients’ management team. These sessions are designed to keep alive the learning from a multi-day leadership development program we had delivered earlier. The participants assembled in groups of six for a couple of hours to address specific people management issues and questions that had arisen for them since the training.
This is a powerful process which generates stimulating, problem-solving discussions. While I facilitate it and inject my perspective and suggestions, so many of the ideas come from the wisdom and experience gathered around the table. In addition, during the course of the conversation opportunities periodically arise for me to engage in an on-the-spot role play with a manager around a specific challenge with an employee.
At the end of one of the sessions, a manager said that she saw a pattern in all of the issues that she and her colleagues had brought up. She said that every case involved the manager acting too soon and without sufficient information to deal with the situation in the optimal way. She went on to say that we managers aren’t listening enough, aren’t asking enough questions.
It was a brilliant summation and I couldn’t have agreed with her more. In fact, as I cast my mind over the two other sessions I held that day, this pattern was present there too.
Each case involved, at least in part, an employee who wasn’t open with the boss about the employee’s motivations, needs, opinions, concerns, fears, assumptions, perceptions of their current behavior, reasons for poor performance, etc.
- An employee is bored and unmotivated. The challenge is first to get him to identify what he wants from his work.
- A staff member bickers a lot. The manager has to get her to shift from blaming to expressing what she needs instead, what is missing for her around each complaint.
- An employee believes he walks on water and rates himself a 5 (out of 5) in all areas. The manager must first get him to point to the specific results and/or behavior that he believes he is delivering in his job.
We talked that day about the strong tendency managers have to try too hard and too quickly to “fix” “people problems” with their own advice or direction. As a result, they usually end up pushing their own solution on the employee (boy, don’t we all love it when our boss does that?) or solving the wrong problem.
If only, as that manager said, we would first really listen in order to really understand.
© 2009 – 2010, Ian Cook. All rights reserved.
About Ian Cook
Ian is an experienced presenter, group facilitator and executive coach. Through his keynote presentations, highly interactive workshops, and custom-designed team-building practice, he helps his clients leverage their investment in their managers and teams. 
