A June 4, 2009 post on John Baldoni’s Leadership at Work blog presented an intriguing image: your “ownership” of the relationship you have with your boss:
To me it comes down to a simple proposition: exert your ownership. If your boss is not giving you feedback, ask for it. If your teammates are driving you crazy, talk to them. If you are struggling with an impossible workload, find ways to lighten it. Proceeding as you are is inefficient; failing to address the problem may be even worse. Bottom line, you have a responsibility to do the job for which you are paid. Do it.
Actually, you and your manager are co-owners of the relationship. And by “relationship” I mean how the two of you operate, communicate, and treat one another. Isn’t it odd that because your boss is at a higher level and has the ultimate decision authority in most areas of the work it seems as if he/she has a greater stake in the relationship. Perhaps as much as 70% to your 30%.
But we are not talking here about power, just about a relationship between two human beings. And this human relationship belongs as much to you as it does to your manager.
So, to expand on John’s exhortation, demonstrate the courage to:
- Bring it up for discussion when the relationship isn’t working for you (i.e. when it is negatively impacting your ability to do your job well and/or your sense of well-being at work)
- Ask yourself what you can do, from your end of the relationship, to remedy or at least improve how you two interact.
- Ask your boss what he/she needs more or less of from you to enhance how you two interact.
If you owned something essential that someone else was damaging or restricting, wouldn’t you take some sort of action? Wouldn’t you bring it up with them or even confront them, if necessary.
So, if your current relationship with your boss–the most essential working relationship you are in–is less than you want it to be, what are you waiting for?
© 2009 – 2010, Ian Cook. All rights reserved.
About Ian Cook
Ian is an experienced presenter, group facilitator and executive coach. Through his keynote presentations, highly interactive workshops, and custom-designed team-building practice, he helps his clients leverage their investment in their managers and teams. 
